


Untitled Linked Universe Fic

by elegantcollectionkoala



Category: Linked Universe-Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 04:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20924348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegantcollectionkoala/pseuds/elegantcollectionkoala
Summary: Goose does what it does best.





	Untitled Linked Universe Fic

“Where did my ladle go?” Wild asked, brows furrowed in confusion as he looked around him. He was just holding it a few seconds ago.

“Did it fall in the pot?” Legend suggested without looking up from his book. “That happens to me sometimes.”

“No, I set it down here. You can see the stew residue there.” Wild pointed at a rock covered with a clean cloth.

Legend just shrugged. “I got nothing then.”

Wild frowned. Maybe he should check inside the pot, just in case. The stew was opaque and he couldn’t see anything, so he just stuck his hand in it. That was a mistake. Wild grimaced and swallowed the pain as he briefly fished around for his missing ladle. No luck. He pulled his hand out and wiped it off, glancing around camp to make sure no one saw. Fortunately, the only people at the camp right now were Legend and Sky. Legend was too absorbed in his book to notice and Sky (believe it or not) was napping.

Wild sighed and began digging through his bag for another ladle. He’d have to wait to search for the missing one for now, but Wild mentally kicked himself for not paying better attention. That was the ladle that Sky had carved for him. 

As he pulled out his back up ladle, he noticed some movement in the corner of his eye. A goose was pulling the cloth off of the rock with it’s beak, making all of Wild’s cooking equipment fall onto the ground.

“Hey!” Wild shouted at it, bopping it on it’s nose with his ladle. The goose squacked and dropped the cloth, retreating a few paces back.

“Get out of here!” He swung the ladle at it threateningly and the goose turned and ran farther away.

Wild groaned as he turned back to his cooking. All his supplies were on the ground now, in the dirt. Well, other than the ladle in his hand, but that would also need to be cleaned off since he bopped a wild goose with it.

“Need a hand?” Legend asked, smirking at what he’d just witnessed.

Wild nodded. “Could you take all this to the river and wash it? I have to make sure the stew doesn’t burn.”

Legend nodded, and after carefully marking his place in his book and setting it down on his bedroll, he stood and gathered all of Wild’s utensils. As he made his way to the river, Wild dug through his bag to find his back up back up ladle. The others liked to tease Wild and Legend about their hoarder tendencies, but in situations like this it proved useful. Wild stirred his stew, making sure to keep an eye on his surroundings. 

Meanwhile, Legend made his way to the river, humming contently. He kicked a stick as he walked, then did a double take. That stick was no mere stick, it was a ladle. Specifically, a ladle he’d seen Sky lovingly make for Wild. He picked it up, confused, and put it with all the other dirty dishes. He turned back towards camp, which was little more than a speck in the distance. Did that goose somehow manage to steal this without either of them noticing? He shrugged nonchalantly and continued on his way. He couldn’t see the goose anymore, so maybe it’d gotten bored and left.

Legend sat down by the water’s edge, placing all the dishes on a rock next to him and getting to work. As he leaned over to wash Wild’s backup ladle, something pulled his hat off his head.

Legend yelped and reached to snag his hat back, but it was too late. He turned in time to see the goose running off with it in his beak, that smug little bastard. Legend narrowed his eyes as he watched his new nemesis run off. This had to be a trap. The goose definitely wanted Legend to chase after him, so Legend decided to just turn back to the dishes. He moved them to his lap so he’d notice any suspect characters come to take anything. Legend finished up the dishes quickly, humming to himself and determined not to let a feral goose of all things ruin his day.

As he strolled back to camp, his hat now completely forgotten, Legend managed to get lost in thought. So when something honked loudly from a bush beside him, Legend flinched so badly he dropped all the newly washed dishes on to the disgusting forest floor. Before he could react, the goose from earlier rushed out of the bush, took the ladle Sky made, and booked it. 

Legend stared after it, indecisive for a moment before choosing to pick up all the stuff still in front of him. Cleaning all of these and getting them back to camp was more urgent than getting the one utensil the goose stole.

_So much for not letting a goose ruin my day,_ Legend grumbled as he turned back towards the river, fuming. He violently scrubbed all the dishes clean again and stormed back to camp, making sure to pay attention to his surroundings this time. 

When he got back to camp, he slammed the dishes onto the rock that Wild had put the cloth back on, making Wild flinch.

“Sorry I took so long, that awful goose kept bothering me.”

“Is that why you’re not wearing your hat?”

“Yeah, the bastard stole it.” Legend groaned, running a hand through his hair before returning to his bedroll.

He needed a breather before chasing down the goose and getting his hat and the ladle back. He looked around him. Then in his bag. Where….

“Wild!” Legend snarled, glaring up at the other menacingly. “Where the hell is my book?”

Wild grimaced. “Uh, you should ask Sky. He might know.”

Legend narrowed his eyes as Wild pretended to be completely absorbed in stirring his stew.

“Sky has been asleep this entire time. Wild. Where is my book?” Legend was now stalking towards the other, hands curled into fists. 

Wild took a small step backwards, face paling. “A goose may have come into camp and taken it,” he stammered, voice small. “I tried to chase it down, but I couldn’t leave this unattended.”

“Sky is right there, you couldn’t have woken him up?” Legend growled. “Do you have any idea how valuable that book is?”

Wild winced. “I’m sorry.”

Legend took a deep breath and stalked out of camp. “I’m going to find my book. If it’s damaged in any way at all…” he left that thought hanging as he found some goose tracks leading away from camp and followed them.

\-----

After an unsuccessful half hour of searching, he bumped into Wolfie and Four. The latter was riding the former like a horse, which gave Legend pause, but he set his questions aside. 

“What happened to your hat?” Four asked as Legend approached.

“I need Wolfie’s help. I’ve been on a wild goose chase, literally, for a stupid long time.”

“Alright, whatcha looking for?” 

“A goose.”

“What?”

“A goose came into camp and has been wreaking havoc for me and Wild while all the rest of you guys have been off doing Hylia knows what. It stole my book and I need it back. Wolfie, please help!” Legend asked in the most desperate pleading tone he could muster.

Four dismounted as Wolfie nodded in an oddly human-like manner and started sniffing around. 

“How did a goose manage to take your book?” Four asked as the two human heroes fell in step behind Wolfie.

“Ask Wild. I was at the river washing dishes.”

Four seemed to sense the frustration radiating from Legend and fell silent. The two of them checked their surroundings intently as they followed Wolfie away from the forest into a meadow filled with beautiful flowers that Legend was too angry to appreciate.

Wolfie barked suddenly and rushed forwards a few yards before stopping and turning to his companions, triumphant look on his face. He stood over a large pile of random stuff. Legend frantically dug through the pile until he found his book. He sat back and flipped through it, unfolding the creased pages and gently wiping dust off while Four rummaged through the rest of the pile.

“This is your hat.” Four held it out to Legend, who took it and put it in his bag along with his book before joining Four.

“Wow, this is a lot of stuff. Do you see that ladle Sky made for Wild?”

“No, but doesn’t this look like Time’s ocarina?”

Legend looked at what Four was holding and nodded. “We should take all this stuff back to camp. Some of this might belong to the others, even though a lot of it I don’t recognize.” 

Four nodded in agreement, so the two of them started shoving everything into their bags while Wolfie kept watch for the goose.

“This goose is quite the hoarder it seems,” Four commented. “I haven’t met it yet, but it reminds me of you.”

Legend glared at Four and whacked him on the back of his head. He finally found Wild’s ladle under all the other junk and had just shoved it in his bag when Wolfie barked out a warning. Legend spun around and there it was. The current bane of his existence, the goose. He put his hand protectively over his bag as he eyed the goose warily. It had something in its mouth.

“Hold this,” Four said, handing Legend his bag before slowly approaching the goose, who seemed a bit unsure of what to do.

It ended up just sitting still, letting Four take the object in its beak without struggling. 

“What is that?” Legend asked.

Four turned to him and held up his newly acquired object. “Wind’s wind waker thi- HEY!”

The goose took that opportunity to rip a leather cord with kinstone halves off of Fours belt. As it made a run for it, Four tossed the wind waker back at Legend before wildly chasing the evil evil goose. Legend stuck the wind waker in his bag before running to help, Wolfie joining him. The goose turned and started running back towards them, kinstone cord in beak.

“We gotta surround it,” Legend told Wolfie and they formed up to block the goose as it approached, Four hot on its heels. 

As it neared them, it cleverly made a sharp turn to the right, narrowly avoiding capture. Forgetting tactics, Legend cursed and he and Wolfie joined Four in chasing the goose around and around the meadow. That goose wouldn’t be able to go on forever. After sprinting after it for five solid minutes to no avail, Legend paused, panting. This goose was worse than cuccos! Legend shuddered, taking in a shaky breath. He just had the most horrid image of the goose calling in reinforcements flash through his head. Great, now he was going to have nightmares about that tonight. He shoved that thought to the back of his mind and assessed the current situation. Four and Wolfie were still going after the goose, but both of them seemed to be struggling and neither were gaining on it. 

Legend facepalmed. He knew a way to catch up to it, easy peasy! He activated his pegasus boots and rejoined the wild goose chase. He quickly caught it and tackled it to the ground, holding it still while Four took his kinstone cord out of its beak. The goose squacked angrily, struggling to get out of Legend’s grip, but Legend was having none of it.

“Wolfie, make sure the goose can’t follow us,” Four commanded, panting as he shoved his cord in his bag. “Legend and I have to take everything back to camp, we can’t have it taking any more of our stuff, so make sure we have a head start of at least fifteen minutes.”

Wolfie barked in agreement and took Legend’s place, allowing Legend to safely let go of the bird. Legend and Four both activated their pegasus and booked it out of the meadow towards relative safety while wolf and bird wrestled each other.

They made it to camp safely, where everyone except Twilight was now waiting anxiously, and distributed everyone’s stolen items. Everything that no one else claimed, Legend took for himself (although he’d have to make sure Twilight got anything that was his back).

When Twilight eventually made his way back to camp, Time wisely ordered everyone to pack camp up. There was no way the heroes were going to spend the night anywhere near that goose. After everyone was packed up and Twilight took a couple items back that the goose had stolen, the already exhausted group began their long trek to safety. Legend hung back for a moment, pulling all the unclaimed items they’d just retrieved and dropping them on the ground.

“I thought you were going to keep that,” Four commented.

“I was planning on it,” Legend said with a shrug. “But I don’t really need any of it. That goose earned my respect, so I figured I’d leave this stuff behind as a peace offering.”

“Fair enough.”

As the heroes walked away, they didn’t notice the goose approach the pile Legend left behind and peck at it, satisfied with all the commotion it had caused.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of Linked Universe fics that I haven't finished and will probably never see the light of day, but this one I knew I had to post. So here's my first fic in a month or so, also the longest one I've written I think at exactly 2222 words. If you haven't gotten the chance to play Untitled Goose game, it's a lot of fun! I especially like the soundtrack.


End file.
